Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize