Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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