Small penises have feelings too.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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