Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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