so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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