How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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