Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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