Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm both gender and math confused
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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