I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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