When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
