He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
