I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
