So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
