fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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