I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
