Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Someone came in the potted fern
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize