did you get engaged???
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I need to sanitize my soul.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
