his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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