That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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