who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
