The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
