I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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