i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
