would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
