there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
