I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
