Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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