Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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