Im at strip club and am horny
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
