I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
