im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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