just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
