Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize