I wish I could teleport
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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