just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
