Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.