dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?