I hate your face
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..