somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us