What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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