I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
