ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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