you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
