How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
two words: eviction party
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Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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