We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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