so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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