I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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