That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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