I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
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so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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