Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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