I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
