His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
