I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
