i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize