i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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