i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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