My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So vagazzling was a success
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
