9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
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his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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