We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
