i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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