I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
